There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
