its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
