I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Randomize
