I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Still dying that you shit outside
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
