I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
