It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
