I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
