I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
