Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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