I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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