Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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