i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
