some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
