babies were throwing up all over the place
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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