ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
