wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
