I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
