how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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