Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
