whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
