he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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