do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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