Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
