I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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