btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
