Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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