stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
