Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize