His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
