Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
