how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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