ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
