Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
