The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
