Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
