Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
