Kareoke will never be a sober sport
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
