I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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