I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
