I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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