i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize