I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
