So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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