So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i wish my penis had a tongue
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
