Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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