i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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