I smell stomach acid.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
