Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
