Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
