Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
