Plan B is the new Plan A
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
As shirtless as possible
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
