I am puke
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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