I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
