Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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