i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
