Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I've blown a few things in my day
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
