I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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