Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
