So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
