love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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