Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
