Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
that is very illegal...i love you.
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