I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
