and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
