ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
