i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
