She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I deserve this hangover.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
