Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
