Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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