where am i from again
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
