when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
