I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
