we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
